How someone can change totally because of a small thing

People change in many ways. Experiences always change us a little bit, and the more experiences we have, the more we change. However, with age, the number of changes get high and we change harder and harder, because we build a lot of walls around us and we enforce the existing ones. Every experience we live makes our walls stronger. This is why people get stubborn with age, they change harder and harder.

There is however a property we can learn or encounter as experience. This is openness. If someone is open to change and can hold to this personal property, one can always change in very unexpected ways.

For example: I was always a person, who liked challenge, liked to travel and experience new and exciting things. But, because of a small experience I had, I changed. Now I want to stay near my home and build a future. It is a totally strange thing for me, to change in this way.

I thought about this a lot. I still do not know the cause, but it has to do something with the realization that I enjoy creating useful things around me. And traveling and just messing around is not creating any value.

So, this small realization played the main role of a huge change.

I am fairly certain that other people have such changes in their lives and this usually happens when one has enough experience to not thrive for the great mysteries of life anymore, but just enjoy every minute of it.

Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes. (Hugh Prather)

Everything is empty, if it has no soul

You probably know the feeling when you do some activity, but it feels empty. You go out with friends on a Saturday night to have fun, but the party feels empty. You go on a trip, see beautiful places, but you fell empty during it, the whole thing feels empty.

Have you ever wondered why that is? The answer is simple. It feels empty, because you put no soul in it. You have no dedication towards the thing you do, so it has no significance, no importance. It becomes empty.

This is a very dangerous thing, because what really happens is that you are becoming empty. Your soul starts to drain out, you start to become a piece of rock. This can have a lot of reasons, but sadly, it is a very common thing to witness.

Usually something becomes empty if you do it too many times. You get annoyed by it, you do not want to do it anymore. Work is such a thing, because you HAVE to do it. There are very few people who actually enjoy their work, who love what they do. They will never get bored, the things they do do not become empty.

So what cane one do to prevent emptiness? First of all, you need to realize what is happening. You have to make clear inside of you, what causes the emptiness you feel and why it causes it. After you know the answer, you have more options:

  • you accept the situation and try to enjoy it, as much as possible (this means you trick your mind to act like it is the first time you meet a situation)
  • you change yourself, or you change the circumstances that caused the emptiness inside you

One thing is sure: never let emptiness take over, because it leads to depression. Be brave, take steps and look for new ways to fill everything you do with soul.

Inner loneliness

I am lonely. I have always been lonely. But my loneliness is not the one people usually have. I am surrounded by people, by family, I have a lot of people who care about me.

No. This loneliness is another kind. I feel this inside. Like I am a vessel without an engine to propel it. I feel this huge emptiness inside, that consumes me.

I feel like I need love and care, but I have all those. I feel like I need someone to congratulate me on something, but I have that, too. So it is very confusing. Something is missing.

I have a happy life. But then the weather goes bad and I start to feel this huge drive to step out of my life and experience great things. I feel tired, I feel lonely. I need a hug, I need to be loved. At least this is how it feels.

It can drive people crazy. Also it makes me lazy, I do not want to do anything with my life in such cases. I just want to lay in the bed and do nothing. Nothing drives me, when I am feeling this inner loneliness. I just question why I was born, what my goal in life is. And I never find an answer.

But then again, weather becomes sunny again and my soul breathes. I feel alright again, ready to save the world if needed. This feeling is strange.

I struggled hard to find the cause of it. None of this spiritual bullshit is working. I am not interested how it can be made to be less bad, I want to understand this feeling. The roots of it. The biology of it. I want to understand what causes it, what is the lack that causes this feeling of huge emptiness.

People do not understand, they think that I am simply tired. To be honest, sleeping helps, but does not solve anything. There are times when my dreams are more awesome than my life. I find refuge in them, rob energy from them.

I will try to find the answer and let everyone know how to deal with this feeling. I know there are other people struggling with this, some are even considering drastic measures.

For all the people in the world who feel the same like me: endure my friends, life is a beautiful playground. Just play on.